Bullshit.

Love’s overrated. Seriously, I don’t believe that two people can actually love eachother for the rest of their lives. I may sound very bitter, but it just doesn’t seem to be logic for me. I mean; people change! It’s about changing together then… complete the other in some way.
Why can’t I have that?
Reason why I don’t believe in this bs is cause I thought I had that! I was engaged, I was planning on getting pregnant! And then now here I’m lost again and alone with these fucking feelings I’m trying hard to surpress. Was watching a movie, a lovestory/comedy now and it was a funny movie, but I could’ve done without the lovestory… typical ”finding soulmate, live happily ever after, love at first sight”-thing…only made me depressed.. but what can I do? I just have to clench my teeth together, take a deep breath and continue to survive.
I know about heartbreak. So much that I’ve put my heart back together with some medecine that numbs it… and then you meet guys that you actually like. The heart slowly starts beating so that you actually feel it and it hurts in the stitches…
A guy I met one time actually said one time when we were sitting being cozy in my couch, he was having his head resting on my chest:”I can hardly feel your heartbeat! Weird…!”
What could I say more than it is in there somewhere…I just keep it from beating loudly so that guys could hear it..

Feel like crying tonight… but it doesn’t make it better… numbing and bottling it up, act like a shell and like I’m alright is fucking easy now that i’ve practiced it for awhile..

I need a cold shower.

Fuck love.
It cuts like a razorblade and leaves you bleeding, but won’t let you die. It only leaves you suffering, gasping for air.

Linda over and out.