I could of course sell a lot of things I own. But I could only do that once. And the money would be enough…once…then next time I wouldn’t have anything else to sell.

I want to start test-working, but the chance that the social insurance office will approve is -100% , cause they’re a bunch of asses. The chance of me getting a doctor to write another medical certificate is slim cause it’s already way past time (I’m 2 1/2 month late with papers and everything, so even if I get a doctor to sign me as ill now, I will still have lost 2 1/2 month)

Christmas eve was really good! I didn’t get any panicattacks or anxiety, but today I wake up with these fucking thoughts in my head. How the hell am I gonna pay this month? And it’s holiday up til the 29th which means even if I get enough money to borrow, I won’t be able to put them on my bank until all the bills has run out anyway…so anyhow I’m screwed this month and will be late with bills…if I even get enough money to pay them at all…

I get headache.
I panic.
And I get more and more depressed.
I might have to cancel a lot of stuff…my internet, sell the computer, cancel the phone…everything that means I have to pay..cause I don’t have anything to pay with. Then I would only struggle with my apartment and the electricity..though I’d need to eat too…fuck.. well I don’t eat much anyway so I don’t have to pay much a month for food.

This is not working out!

I will become criminal and it really is societys fault.