Haven’t been writing here for awhile now.. I’ve been thinking about doing it almost everday, but then I realize I don’t have anything nice to write about.. I do have some stuff I need to get off my chest though:

- Apparently me and him are not together as boyfriend girlfriend. Because…uhmm.. fear. Jobs. Lives. Don’t ask me, cause I don’t fucking know…. It sucks.

- My parents asking me if I will continue to live where I live cause I don’t do well money-wise (every month). Started thinking about that too. It sucks.

- Moneyproblem. All the problems you can have with money; I’ve got it. (except if you think having LOTS of money is a problem). I haven’t been eating more than one meal a day for weeks now..it looks like I will have to continue to starve for awhile more…. No help from my parents anymore. Understandable. I’d rather starve than beg for money anymore. That sucks.

- Job-problems. I really WANT a job. Cause I need the money (obviously). But I still don’t know if I’m healthy enough. Will talk to my shrink and my doctor about it this month. I’m tired of having my life in others hands. It sucks.

- Daily thoughts of suicide. Sucks.

- I’m weak. Unmotivated. Nothing drives me to keep dreams alive. It sucks.

- My reality is a cunt.