WomanChild











{juni 29, 2009}   Red Red Wine

hmm, I have Michael Jackson songs stuck in my head. Of course :p The only thing playing in the shops and radio now are his songs cause of his death…

Today I got back to work again after the weekend. It’s my second week working as a gardener now and I still really enjoy it! :D

Tomorrow I will meet another person that I’ve been talking to online for a bit. We’re going to a picnic in Rålambohovs Park after we’ve finished our jobs :) It’s about 31 degrees outside so I hope it will still be warm tomorrow for the picnic, eventhough working outside in this weather is a pain in the ass at moments! I still look like a red crab on my chest cause of the sunburn I got yesterday…at least it doesn’t sting today!

Dave stopped by earlier today. We chatted some and he invited me over for some wine-drinking at his place tonight :) Awesome! I’ve been wanting to drink wine for some days now :p But I have work tomorrow so I should take it easy :p ”Go easy on the red wine, keep shufflin’ in the shoe-shine!” (Aerosmith)
I was thinking about baking some muffins since I have too much flour at home and I have to do something with it… but I might not have time tonight…
Bought some fruits (Kiwis and melon) to munch at my breaks at work. I’ve been bringing peaches everyday and now I felt like eating some other fruit!

Hmm… I made a deal with my shrink that I should excersise once a day… I hope going food-shopping counts as excercise… :p

Adios!



{juni 28, 2009}   bed friend and summerheat

Yesterday at 3.00 in the morning I got a call from Juha. He wanted some place to crash so of course he was welcomed to my place, eventhough he woke me up :p It was really nice with a bed-friend :) I hate sleeping alone…

When we got up, around 11.30 I was gonna go into town to find myself some sunglasses (since the ones I had last year broke). Got a call from Jessi while I was getting myself ready and we decided to meet up in the city. She was in a travel agency since she’s gonna go back to Rome in october. (Lucky her!)
We went shopping clothes for sale (I found a really cute dress!) and eventually I found sunglasses aswell! Then I went to Jessis place, playing with her cats and then her boyfriend showed up and we all ate pizza :) Really nice!

Today I was meeting up with a friend from the internet that I have never met before (Jimmy). We met up at the central station and started walking around, talking in the southern part of the city :) I took really nice pictures which are up on facebook ;D (btw, Jessi, I’m SO gonna buy that camera you wanted me to get! Mine sucks :p )
I got badly sunburned though cause I forgot to put sunlotion on my chest! It doesn’t look or feel nice… so I’m gonna wear a t-shirt at work tomorrow!

It has been a nice weekend! :D Nice to be social with friends and be outside in the summerheat :) No bed-friend tonight though, but I’ll be okey ;D



{juni 26, 2009}   Engelen?

hmmm, I’m going to watch Dave (my neighbor) perform with his band at a club called Engelen here in stockholm, but I don’t feel like going alone. I’m trying to get someone I havent met for awhile (or at all) to join me. We’ll see… I have 6 hours to get someone to change their mind :p
I’ll be chilling in the evening sun with a beer all alone otherwise! Not okey…

Today I just worked for two hours since I had to go to the shrink. I missed out on the minigolf that the rest of the workers got to enjoy, but I’m okey. I’m such a bad loser anyway :p haha
most of my co-workers actually live here in Hässelby. I bumped into two of them this afternoon ;D

My skin is still red from the sunburn…and it doesn’t feel nice :( I keep putting on aftersun lotion with lots of calming Aloe Vera and I hope it will help.

I don’t feel like discussing Michael Jacksons death. The rest of the world do that better :p



{juni 25, 2009}   Exhausted lumberjack

I am so not accustomed to get up early and work! I ”died” in my couch when I got home today :p I had to go talk to the unemployment services straight after work though and I was already a bit tired by then. Anyhow, I will probably get to do a test there to see how bad my dyscalculia is. It’s nice to be taken seriously! It’s not often that happens! :p
When I got home, I chatted to some friends on msn before msn totally broke down! So I fell asleep…for four hours!! Now I have to try to sleep all night aswell, I hope it works… :p I get up around 7 to take the bus to the garden I work in. Tomorrow I only work two hours though, since I have to be at my shrink at 11. They were okey with that since it kinda includes in my ”work treatment”.

Today I used my sunlotion and mosquitospray and it worked!! :D Though I worked in a forest a bit and all dust and everything that is small in a forest got stuck in my sunlotion on my body! Otherwise it was nice to work there (”I’m a lumberjack and I’m okey!” ;D) I saw a cute forest-mouse!

Isabelle sent me a nice picture of herself to my phone cause of boredom today ;D She’s the sweetest! Too bad she doesn’t have internet now cause she’s in her cottage…somewhere… ;p We figured out we could make a good gardening-team; she mowns and I do the flowers ;D



{juni 24, 2009}   Linda The Gardener

I’m now working as a gardener :) It was my first day on this work-rehab-thing…. I should explain that word a bit more I feel! haha!
Well, people go there to work while they get money from social services (mostly) and because they have trouble in life. For example; one I’m working with has been homeless for 15 years and just now recently will get a place to stay at and sort out her life, another one is alcoholic etc… but all of them behave and are really nice at work, so I have no problems whatsoever with them :) Of course I might not get along well with all of them as time goes but that’s an everyday thing, that happens to everybody!

So yeah today I was taking care of a big garden nearby some mansion. I was working with two other women. I had a good time! It was really hot outside though so I burned some skin :( I’m taking sunlotion with me tomorrow! And mosquito-spray! :p I’m gonna get vaccinated soon. I thought it would be best to have protection against TBE or whatever it’s called, the illness you can get by ticks. I’ve never been vaccinated against that before, but since I’m now crawling among bushes and flowers I think I could need it!

Tomorrow is another day to get up early and go to work in the hot sun! I hope so anyway, it’s better than working when its raining >.< and tomorrow I’ll be fully prepared for sun and insects aswell! ;)

I made carrot and rye pancakes with a mixture of coconutmilk and condensed milk and bananas as topping! It sounds horrible but it tasted really good! And was like 50% bad for my health and 50% good. Gotta balance! ;)



Tomorrow I’ll start with that rehab-work-thingy :p I so do not know the english word haha!
I was there checking it out today and I like it and the people there were nice :) I think I’ll do good! I’ll work as a gardener every weekday now between 8-12 on the day.

I tried out a new recipe today; Cashew nut and broccoli pie! I normally don’t eat broccoli but this pie was really good with a salad (consisting of avocado, sallad, tomatoes, onion and balsam vinegaer) to it :D Yay! Go me! ;D hehe

I was at the doctors today aswell and I do have psoriasis… will call a specialist tomorrow to see if they can help me with what lotions I should use. Today I bought one that my sis uses, it’s good for now :)

Had great weather today!

oh, and I treated myself with buying The Sims 3 :D It’s a bit confusing though since it was a long time ago I played Sims at all…and this one is very different :p Was too tired today to learn the stuff, haha, but I can always do it another day ;D

Have to go to sleep soon… zzzzzzzzzz!



{juni 20, 2009}   Tragic Midsummer…

I’m thinking of not writing so much about the Midsummer celebration, more about some things I got to know about my family while I celebrated yesterday with my aunt. I don’t feel like writing about how fucking drunk I got, more about maybe a reason to why I feel mentally bad and have problems with alcohol sometimes..

We’re bad at talking about stuff in our family. My aunt and me feel like the only ones who actually talk about what happens in our family and with our relatives. If something bad happens, they tend to just put the lid on and pretend that everything’s fine.
Some years (or MANY years) ago I first got to know that one of my cousins on my mom’s side of the family had been in trouble with drugs and was in rehab. Yesterday my aunt told me though that it was more mental problems he had, than drug problems. I remember him from when I was younger. I remember him one time showing up at my parents place without a warning. I of course got happy to see him and we hugged. Now yesterday I got to know that he probably had escaped rehab that time, that’s why he showed up at our place. Apparently he still does that..
Anyway, I got to know that he had tried to kill himself when he lived with his parents (my mom and aunts late sister who died about 7 years ago or something). He had made it as a cry for help, cause he knew when my aunt (his mom) was gonna come home from work, and just as she did, he had hung himself in their kitchen and my aunt had found him and cut him down. They rushed him to the hospital and since my aunt (his mom) talked bad swedish, my other aunt had to call the doctors and talk to them and take care of everything on that part.
He was okey for some time, but then he started doing drugs with a girl he was dating. They got a baby and she had to be taken to a fosterhome later cause they couldn’t take care of themselves, much less a kid. I met her only some years ago and she’s really sweet! I hope that she will grow up without alcohol and drugs..
Anyway, so my cousin has a long story dealing with drugs and mental illness, mental hospitals, rehab etc. And just last week, I think, my other cousin (his sister) had told my aunt (the one I celebrated with yesterday) that he had shown up at her place in Östersund. Just out of the blue. He was talking jibberish that he had been saved by Jesus and that he was now perfectly healthy and was gonna live in Östersund. But they found out soon that he had escaped the hospital. His sister tried to make him contact social services and she helped him with meetings and such, but in the end he never showed up. And you can’t force someone. He has no papers and no one ‘cares’ to take him back to a hospital or rehab, so now he’s homeless in Östersund, and alcoholic and probably doing drugs again.

And my granddad was/is an alcoholic. His daughters (my mom and my aunts) had to go look for him during the evenings cause he would be out drinking and they’d find him laying in a ditch, being so drunk that they had to help him home. My aunt says that she still remembers when she was 10 years old and had to go look for her drunk dad in the streets…. it was normal for her!

:(

And my grandmom is aparently on some calming medecine for anxiety and her nerves.

All this information about my family got me sad and a bit confused… but I’m so happy that I know more about it now because it does help me to understand myself; There’s less questionmarks about why I feel mentally bad, why I have trouble sometimes with alcohol. It all feels so scarily calming and ‘okey’ to know now. It’s like I feel like it’s a curse that my family and relatives has been having for so long and when it’s in your blood, you know.. :-/

Alcohol, drugs, mental problems, medecines… I feel like I’m in a whirlpool and my aunts words and story are twirling around me and I have to try to grasp it and understand..
I’m worried that she will call me one day and tell me that my cousin has been found dead somewhere, either of some overdose or suicide..

Why? Why did I have to be yet one to suffer by this curse?

And I also found out that my aunt (the one I met yesterday) was a mistake. She wasn’t meant to be born and that my grandmom still reminds her of that, telling her that she’s a mistake etc. I just can’t see my grandmom say words like that, but apparently she does! Jeez…

I have to stop writing now, I think I got it all out now so I can try to sleep.
I’m going back to stockholm tomorrow and I’m longing..



{juni 18, 2009}   Shit happens…?

I’ve been laying in the couch underneath the cover all day and it looks like I’ll continue to do that… the weather is really rainy and shitty so I don’t go to the stores to find any tights today. I’ll have to wear my jeans shorts with that dress/long shirt tomorrow instead.
It’s Midsummer tomorrow. We’re gonna eat at my uncles place and then in the evening me and my aunt go to her place to hopefully drink and play videogames or something ;D
And on sunday I’ll go back to Stockholm :)

I’ve registered on this dating site again… the only one I’m on :p Don’t know if it’s good for me or not.. it’s not like I’m looking for a guy to date, I don’t know what to do anymore… all I know is that I want someone who actually loves ME. I doubt I’ll find one though so that’s why I don’t really search anymore.. I just talk to the people who talk to me first kinda..
I think I’ll have to get accustomed to this big hole inside of me. Shit happens..



{juni 16, 2009}   Linkoping and Shopping

Yesterday I went into the town here in Motala and met up with an old classmate that I haven’t seen for years. She really had changed…physically… :p But it was cool to catch up a bit and share what is going on in our lives now.
After that I took a bus to Linköping to meet Erik and Sussie! We drank alcohol, sang singstar and ate chips. Had a great evening! I slept in their guestroom as I use to do when I visit them and today we went into the town in Linköping. I really wanted that cause I haven’t been in that town since I went to school there.
We went bowling (and I didn’t lose my temper!!) and then we went to a café and then we went shopping! Erik had to leave earlier though cause he had to practice Aikido, but Sussie and I continued shopping clothes (I for once bought very summery and bright clothes! :p ). After some hours we went back home to their place and ate, before I took the bus back to Motala.
I have a headache and is tired now. Going to sleep now, but thought I could update my blog. Haven’t been writing this much in my blog for awhile I think :p Feels like this month I’ve tried to put more energy in writing hehe ;D

Gonna go to sleep now, as soon as my parents stop watching tv…

Oh btw, I really wanna have the new Sims!! Sims 3…buy it for me? *puppy eyes * ;D



{juni 14, 2009}   THINK;REACT;TAKE ACTION

If you do not take the time to read this, you’re feeding  The System. So read, think, react and take action! Cause no one can do everything, but everyone can do something!! (at the bottom of this post is both a swedish and an english link you can choose from to learn more and to join in to help our society and the human wellfare!)

The Zeitgeist Movement is not a political movement. It does not recognize nations, governments, races, religions, creeds or class. Our understandings conclude that these are now false, outdated distinctions that are far from positive factors for true collective human growth and potential. Their basis is in power division and stratification, not unity and equality, which is our goal. While it is important to understand that everything in life is a natural progression, we must also acknowledge the reality that the human species has the ability to drastically slow and paralyze progress, through social structures which are out of date, dogmatic, and hence out of line with nature itself. The world you see today, full of war, corruption, elitism, pollution, poverty, epidemic disease, human rights abuses, inequality and crime is the result of this paralysis. This movement is about awareness, in avocation of a fluid, evolutionary progression, combining the personal, social, technological and spiritual. It recognizes that the human species is on a natural path for unification, derived from a communal acknowledgment of fundamental and near empirical understandings of how nature works and how we as humans fit into/are a part of this universal unfolding we call life.

While this path does exist, it is unfortunately hindered or not recognized by the great majority of humans, who continue to perpetuate outdated and hence degenerative modes of conduct and association. It is this intellectual irrelevancy that the Movement hopes to overcome through education and social action. The goal is to revise our world society in accord with present day knowledge on all levels, not only creating awareness of social and technological possibilities many have been conditioned to think “impossible” or against ”human nature”, but also to provide a means of overcoming those elements in society which perpetuate these outdated systems. In order to do so, we first have to establish a perspective in reference to the world today.

As of now, the technology that can free humans from meaningless tasks is stifled due to the monetary based labor system. This is unacceptable. The fact that technology is not being allowed to flourish for the benefit of human kind is, in fact, a Civil Rights issue on a certain level. It is time we forget about our differences and come together for the collective benefit of our species. We all need food, air, water and the like, and we all want liberty and happiness. The only way this is going to be accomplished is if we all work together to overcome a now-obsolete social system. Of course, this is easier said than done, as humans who have undergone tremendous social distortion currently run our world. Their often elitist values are constantly reinforced by the material benefits their business and political corruptions obtain. We should feel pity for their ignorance, however. In the words of Ghandi: “Do not hate your oppressors. They need to be liberated just as you do”.

The fact is, traditional political activism is not the path. The establishment has gotten far too good at controlling traditionally oriented dissent. Rather, the path of this movement is to first create grassroots awareness on a global scale. This comes down to communication. Those of us who believe in this direction must work to spread awareness of its ideas. Humanity must first be aware of this social direction before any kind of action can be taken. As of now, thezeitgeistmovement.com is being developed into 30+ languages. We will be creating country, state and regional organizations in the hopes of eventually having a Movement organization in every area of the globe. This kind of communications project will have difficult barriers from various ideological groups. It’s very important that we bridge the differences between cultures by expressing how, at the core, we are really all the same . Our similarity and needs greatly over-shadow our religious and political differences.

Apart from spreading awareness, our focus should also be on continually exposing the monetary frauds and social corruptions that are endlessly churned out in our society. We want to make the governments and peoples of the world feel embarrassed by the sickness their systems generate, while also making the population understand the root causes of the corruption and how to move away from it with the intelligent application of science and technology for social and environmental concern. As expressed, the monetary systems of the world are all failing at this time. The result of this could be catastrophic. It is critical that we absorb those who are being hurt by this monetary failure and give them direction. Once a very large number of people on the planet join hands in common pursuit of a dramatic social shift, we will begin the next phase, which will put pressure on all nations simultaneously to begin moving out of the monetary structure. Until then, communication, coupled with peaceful social rebellion is key.

As a general rule, all social facets that perpetuate the profit system, war and human abuse should be banned. No one should ever join any military in any nation or work for the war industry. In turn, the political system needs to be exposed for what it is. The governments of the world today are run by businessmen, lawyers and military men… likely three of the most useless specializations we have. When we understand that our problems on this planet are technical , we then see that if any group of people were to be considered as qualified to make decisions about anything, they would naturally be technically and thus objectively focused … not politically motivated . Politics is a monetary creation.

Tips for spreading awareness:

-Post thevenusproject.com and thezeitgeistmovement.com online wherever you can.

-Create YouTube videos promoting both the Movement and the idea of a Resource-Based Economy. -Call into radio shows and bring up the Movement whenever possible.

-Download Zeitgeist Addendum and screen it in your community; get it on public access/networks. -Copy this booklet and distribute it via hard copy or Cd-Rom

-Download the Orientation Presentation Slideshow and Slideshow Movie and hold your own events. -Saturate the Internet as much as possible. -Be aware that March 15th of each year is “Zeitgeist Day” and hold an event in your area. -Work to specifically inform those who are suffering due to the pending economic collapse.

-Continually expose the corruption of our current system, publicly.

-Contact existing “activism” groups, such as the ACLU and Greenpeace, and try to explain to them how their efforts, while very noble, are not going to solve any of the major social problems, for they are not addressing root causes.

The backbone of the initial development of this new social system will come from teams of researchers and technicians working in all relevant fields. These can be called Interdisciplinary Teams. The first team we are putting together is the “Communications Team”. Everything listed above would constitute some action of this team. Anyone who supports this direction should help to inform others. We are all a part of the Communications Team on a certain level. In turn, more teams will be created that will work in specific areas related to the implementation of a Resource-Based Economy. There are many scientific fields that are needed to solidify the underlying mechanisms of the project. These Interdisciplinary Teams would include research into computer programming, city planning, robotics, education, data collection, etc. Please check back to www.thezeitgeistmovement.com for organizational announcements in this regard. If you feel you have a skill that would contribute to this development, please let us know when we begin to setup the teams. A whole section of the website will be devoted to this interaction and focus. As we grow, full conferences will emerge. In time, we will eventually be able to begin the first city , even if it is only a prototype of sorts.

Final Thoughts:

There are many out there who would say that what we are describing here, that is the development of a Resource-Based Global Economy , would never happen. They would typically cite “human nature”, the “power elite” or erroneous technical opinions in their defense. This cynicism has no support in view of humanity’s technical and social development throughout history. We have come from a world of extreme superstition, abject slavery and extreme racism and social prejudice, to a slowly emerging world of race equality, scientific ingenuity and emerging values that desire to see humanity benefit as a whole.

In the words of Carl Sagan: ”The old appeals to racial, sexual and religious chauvinism, to rabid nationalist fervor, are beginning not to work. A new consciousness is developing which sees the earth as a single organism, and recognizes that an organism at war with itself, is doomed. We are one planet.” We have gone from smoke signals to the telephone to electronic mail sent at near the speed of light. Everything that has once been considered impossible has gradually become possible. The Wright Brothers were told by “experts” that it was impossible to fly…years ago people who talked of traveling to the moon were dismissed and labeled as “Mooniacs”. To assume something is ‘impossible’ in this world is a failure of creativity.

If 120,000 people can come together to build a nuclear bomb, as was done with the Manhattan Project in the late 1930s, there is no reason why we cannot come together and use human ingenuity to accomplish incredible social achievements for the betterment of humanity. It is time we unleash our ‘Weapons of Mass Creation’ (WMCs) unto the world. It is time we take responsibility for each other and ourselves. We have the knowledge, means and initiative to devise an entirely new social architecture that can create a world we actually enjoy and flourish in.

Very simply, it is time to grow up.



etc.