My cat, who nev…

My cat, who never is outdoors during nights, has been missing for two days. I’ve been putting up posters with a reward for those who find her.
I’m not celebrating New Year tonight. I’m broken. My cat is my everything. I love her so much I feel so lost when she’s gone She has never gone away like this before and I fear she might have been locked in a garage or something..
I feel empty eventhough I feel like I have 200 tons of sadness weighing my chest down. I haven’t been sleeping or eating well at all since her disappearance. And I fear I won’t do it until I know where she is.

People are celebrating the New Year tonight, the end of 2011, laughing, drinking, shooting fireworks… and all I can think about is maybe my cat is sitting locked in somewhere, being terrified of all the noises and fireworks?

I do feel like I have done everything in my power. I’ve searched everywhere a thousand times, put up posters even on the internet, leaving food outside, sleeping with my door ajar in case she comes back when I sleep… 
I break down crying and wanting to disappear. I can’t stand this feeling of not knowing what has happened to the light of my life. She’s my everything, the reason I stay alive but tonight I wanted to hurt myself…cause I can’t stand these feelings ripping me apart from the inside…
I feel so helpless. Wanting to be outdoors 24/7 calling her name, but I feel like the chances of her coming back tonight when people are shooting fireworks are really small
I can’t look at her food bowl, her boxes of food, her litter box or anything that relates to her without breaking down. I will do ANYTHING to get her back safe

But yeah, searching for her more tonight feels useless cause of the fireworks and I don’t have a flashlight to go into the woods with…
My boyfriend will come to me after midnight (he’s at a new years party) cause he doesn’t want me to sleep alone and I’m thankful for that!
I miss my cat so much it hurts in every fiber of my soul and heart

The search will continue tomorrow for as long as there’s daylight.

Please be safe, my sweetheart. Mommy loves you and misses you so badly!

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